Unapologetically "Selfish" by Jillian Foit

A few years ago, I had written a variation of this blog. Although, several years have gone by since I began living a healthier lifestyle, I vowed to myself to never forget how I felt before I made very necessary changes. At this point it almost seems like it was an eternity ago, but really, in a not quite so distant past, there was a time I was extremely unhappy. Unhappy is a total understatement. I was miserable. Miserable to the point where I wasn't the only one noticing my sadness, my family and friends did as well. After two kids and "letting myself go", I got to a point where my body image, and how I felt about myself, became unbearable. I was an athlete my whole life. How did I let myself go like this? I didn't have the energy to keep up with my kids like I wanted. I didn't want to go out with friends when I could, because being in front of a mirror while getting ready and having to look at myself was torturous. Instead of living a full life, and truly appreciating each day.. I cried…I cried a lot… 

I thought I was "doing my best." Eventually I got to a point where I decided there had to be more than how I was living. I wasn’t living the life I could or should have been living for myself or my children. The time had come to make some serious changes. It wasn't easy, especially in the beginning. I remember the first bootcamp I went to, I was in denial as to why I couldn't do push-ups, trying to convince myself it was because of an old shoulder injury. The reality of it was, I was just that out of shape. In spite of my frustration, I made a promise to myself that there was no way in hell I was going to quit. So I showed up, again...and again...and again... I started making significant changes to my diet that used to consist of endless pasta, bread bowls, ice cream and just about anything else I could easily get my hands on and made the switch to PRIMAL eating. I got myself into a solid routine of healthy eating and exercise. The weight came off, I got stronger (was finally able to do the push ups I thought I was incapable of), and I had a boatload of energy! Day by day, week by week,  I was happier with how I was feeling. I wasn’t the only one noticing the changes, not just physically, but everyone I knew could see emotionally that I was in a better state of mind.


So, this was where things started to get a little confusing for me. Because this was one of those things that makes you say "hmmm...?"

“You look great. So, are you done now?? I think you’ve been dedicating too much time to your eating and exercise.”

I remember hearing that statement and not being sure if I should be flattered by the compliment or offended because apparently I was being selfish in taking care of myself?!? I thought to myself "First, I was too miserable…and now…I’m too happy and healthy?!?!"

Unfortunately, in speaking with some of my clients, I know that I am not the only person who has had something similar said to them. This is what I tell them, and what I will say to all of you…

YOU ARE MAKING A HAPPIER, HEALTHIER VERSION OF YOU!

Don’t feel guilty for creating the (healthy) lifestyle that you want to be living.You do not need to explain yourself to ANYONE the choice you are making to become a happier, healthier version of YOU!  As a matter of fact, you need to be a little bit "selfish" and take care of yourself first. Coming from someone who is often described as being "selfless", I can assure you that until you learn to take care of your health and happiness as priority, you will not be giving your very best to the ones closest to you, that you love the most. Until you give yourself your best YOU, no one else will be getting it either.

Why allow anyone else to control YOUR happiness? Some people aren't going to understand why you workout. They are going to try to convince you it's okay if you skip the gym, or cheat your diet. There are people in your life who will not understand your lifestyle, and that's okay. It is YOUR life to live. It is YOUR happiness you choose. Don't for a second allow anyone who may not "get it" to interfere with you becoming your best self, because at the end of the day, YOU have YOU. (Which will be a blog saved for another day.)

Since making these changes, I am a better mother, daughter, friend, and person in general. I am a better version of before, and continuously working to be better than I was the day prior.

Am I being selfish? I’m not sure? Maybe?
But, if by me being “selfish”
creates a better life for the loved ones around me…
makes me a better role model for my daughters…
will promote a healthy lifestyle, so I can be alive as long as possible…
gives me the opportunity to help more people…

Then yes, I do suppose I am, (in a very rare instance), being selfish.

Do not allow anyone to make you feel that doing something healthy for you, is “wrong.”

I am unapologetically "selfish" when it comes to my health, and wouldn't have it any other way, for myself, and all those whom I care about.

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